Many high-achieving women spend their lives chasing success, only to realize they’ve lost themselves along the way. In a powerful conversation on the Hello Moxy Podcast, host Nicole Donnelly sits down with Dr. Brittany McGeehan, a licensed psychologist and high-performance coach for women who “want it all”—the career, the family, the partnership, the passion, and a deep sense of self.
What unfolds is a deeply honest and energizing conversation about trauma, overachievement, nervous system health, motherhood, gender roles, rest, and the lifelong work of coming back home to ourselves.
Overachievement and the Birth of the “False Self”
For many women, overachievement isn’t just a habit—it’s a survival strategy. Dr. McGeehan explains that this pattern starts long before adulthood.
“Children learn very quickly what gets them love and connection,” she says. “Especially oldest daughters. We’re often rewarded for being helpful, being capable, and not needing anything. And that becomes fused with our identity.”
She refers to this as the false self—the version of us that earns praise, keeps the peace, and performs, often at the cost of authenticity.
The real self? She suggests we look back.
“Who were you when you were 5? Before the world taught you who to be?”
This inner-child lens becomes one of the anchors of her work.
The Toy-Store Exercise: Reconnecting With Your Authentic Self
One of the most vibrant parts of the conversation is Dr. McGeehan’s signature exercise: taking clients to a toy store—with a photo of themselves at age five.
“They have to hold up that picture and ask, ‘What do you want?’” she explains. “No kids. No choosing something practical. It’s the first step toward remembering how to play.”
For many high-performing women, play feels foreign—even unsafe. It was never modeled, never rewarded, or never permitted.
Nicole shares how this resonated with her own journey:
“I went 40 years without realizing how disconnected I was from my body and intuition. Sitting alone on a park bench, doing nothing, was one of the hardest—and most healing—things I’ve ever done.”
According to Dr. McGeehan, relearning play builds emotional flexibility, nervous system safety, and creativity—all of which fuel healthier relationships and more sustainable success.
Intergenerational Trauma: “How Would You Know a Language You’ve Never Heard?”
Modern women often blame themselves for not “doing better.” But Dr. McGeehan reminds us that personal patterns don’t form in a vacuum.
“How would you know how to speak a language you’ve never heard?” she asks.
“We learn womanhood from our mothers. We learn love from our caregivers. We inherit templates—beliefs about work, marriage, rest, and self-worth.”
One of her favorite exercises is having women define what they believe it means to be a woman, mother, or wife—and then write where they learned it.
“Most of the time, the rules they live by aren’t theirs. They’re inherited. And no one ever told them they get to rewrite them.”
Nicole calls this one of the most empowering parts of the episode.
Rest as a Leadership Strategy, Not a Luxury
High-achieving women often treat rest like a reward for good behavior—or something to earn once everything is done.
Dr. McGeehan flips the script.
“Rest isn’t optional for women leading in high-pressure environments—it’s strategic, necessary, and powerful.”
She often assigns clients mandatory rest containers, such as massages or myofascial release sessions, because the nervous system doesn’t just “figure it out.” It must be shown safety through consistent experiences.
“The more stress you carry,” she says, “the more unfamiliar rest feels, and the more your body reads it as danger.”
As women learn to rest, she sees radical changes:
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creativity increases
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marriages soften and deepen
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children seek more connection
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leadership becomes more grounded
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scaling a business becomes more sustainable
One client even reported: “I don’t think I’ve ever felt this connected to myself—so of course everything else feels better.”
The Woman Who Inspires Her Most: Hedy Lamarr
When asked which woman in history inspires her, Dr. McGeehan chooses iconic actress and inventor Hedy Lamarr.
“She was known as a glamorous Hollywood star, but privately she was developing the technology that became Wi-Fi, GPS, and Bluetooth. She refused to be defined by one version of herself.”
Lamarr represents what many modern women desire: the freedom to be multidimensional, brilliant, artistic, strategic, and soft—all at once.
Key Takeaways
- Your worth is not tied to performance.
Overachievement is often an adaptation, not identity. - Your five-year-old self knows more about you than you think.
Reconnect with her curiosity, creativity, and voice. - Question every inherited rule.
Ask: Who said this has to be my job? Who taught me this belief? - Your body is your greatest ally.
Trauma disconnects us from our physical signals, but healing reconnects us. - Rest is not indulgent—it’s powerful leadership.
A regulated woman creates a regulated home, team, and life. - You can rewrite your legacy.
Curiosity and playfulness open new possibilities for the women who follow after us.
